My Invite is this…

 

At the heart of many romantic encounters that pierce the soul is often this: another person who you are deeply attracted to who you adore radically delighting in you.

 

The power of this mutual positive or enthusiastic gaze is not insignificant. It’s a force.

 

It’s like an extreme permission to not only exist, but to relish in existing, to feel free to expand.

 

I’ve spent years philosophizing about, and engaging, and tending this vital spark 🔥 and currently, this spark is at the heart of what the collective is grappling with when it comes to protecting and honoring life or not (what I’ve spoken to regarding the romantic crisis and the romantic revolution).

 

It happens relationally but it’s also a very personal thing, relating to this fire.

 

If the fire’s not burning already and then… the spark happens… it’s nearly promethean.

 

Somewhere along the path, it might be the biggest display of affection you’ve ever received for a most intimate and deep part of your very essence.

 

We are encoded with the longing to feel that way in the first place.

 

It can wake up a part of you that you forgot was even there.

 

It wakes up a deeper joie de vivre and hunger for life — and a lot of tenderness around having ever lived in separation from this innocent delight and sense of freedom to simply exist.

 

Positively this force inspires so much direction and purpose in life and energizes you. It is the hearth of a life, the shared hearth of a partnership.

 

The spark grows into a sustained fire, like Aries to Leo.

 

When this kind of positive regard of essence is not stabilized inside (and it just so happens to also show up externally, eratically… attached to special circumstances or unavailable special people… or trauma bonds…) this kind of love experienced externally becomes an obsession or an addiction, or at least a peak experience that must be integrated and internalized.

 

Less obviously, it could be a kind of love that’s already in your life steadily that you don’t receive as much as you could.

 

I’ve been so fascinated by this fire for so much of my life and it took me years to see it so elementally, rather than as a blended projection with the person who inspired it. However, it was always undeniable that love was an awakening, and the spark deserved tending and the construction of healthier containers. When I look back, these experiences granted me a lot of direct understanding at how vulnerable and worth it it is to tend to the spark inside.

 

I went from looking for this spark outside of me (and yes - you do still have to have a life and engage the world) to realizing it was a practice to wake this force up inside and steadily tend it. I know the deep, on your knees, in tears vulnerability of it. You’d think something like pure joy wouldn’t be so savage. But it comes from the heart and the heart is fierce.

 

Essentially I see this in people I speak with all the time — Eros breaks your heart right open. It can show you something so essential about your nature and reveal to you the depth of how much you care.

 

I believe another person’s radical delight is so invigorating because in that moment, the frame of “you are delightful” is held for you. But to make experiences like that more consistent and fertile in your world, you have to be it too. I find more and more joy is less of a ‘thing’ and more of an active creation.

 

So back to the power of delight…

 

The desire for this kind of celebratory, warm, admiring light does have an essential innocence to it — it’s a quality of life beyond survival that wants to feel safe enough to play. Not just go through the motions or get by… but feel radically and joyfully alive. It is part of the self that gets split-off inside of attachment wounds, and that’s why it also feels so tumultuous when it gets activated.

 

From an attachment perspective, people focus on securing this as an external resource.

 

But what if life itself, and new levels of relationship, really begins when you’ve internalized this kind of celebratory permission in your own frame? I’m talking about self-love and inner-strength not as platitudes or as ideas, but as actual energetics you can practice and enjoy living inside of.

 

I see a lot of conversations about the spark at a relational level (regarding dating and relationship — which connects to why I talk about chemistry) but less conversation about relating to the spark and the fire itself at a fundamental physical and emotional level — which is ultimately what will give you the capacity and sobriety to engage desired life situations.

 

I find that when people wake up to this spark from an outside lover or partner and it creates a whole love addiction, limerence, obsession or power struggle thing… (like that other person has the key)…

 

That the number one thing to integrate and stabilize inside is: how do you take care of this essence that got awoken? How you create the internal conditions that make this bigness-of-you free to take up more space in your life so that fun, radiant joy and deep pleasure are not running at a deficit but are rather things you create from a deeper place inside of you?

 

And honestly, what is more important than giving something so valuable inside, a safe energetic atmosphere to thrive inside of? What is more important than tending to this central hearth and letting this warm up and guide your life?

 

This is what the world needs right now. It’s what nearly everyone wants. But what so many are waiting for on the outside instead of claiming. But look - Saturn and Neptune are in Aries and someone has to go first. The spark, the essence of life, exists in everyone, and we are all stewarding our precious lives.

 

If this spark was a visitation from the outside… a festival, a special season in life, a lover…

 

Eventually the wisdom is to thank the abundance of Life that another person or experience showed up in your sphere to offer a spark… but now, tend the fire that is yours to tend.

 

How can you take action now to not delay this kind of fulfillment to “one day” or some fantasy but actually make it a bone-deep reality originating from your own center of gravity?

 

This is an essential erotic skill.

 

It’s not joy as how to feel good all the time or how to never feel pain again. It’s now how to be invulnerable…

 

It’s how to build a quality of attention & a muscle of the heart that is a baseline necessity for all kinds of healing, zest for life, and expansion.

It’s about internalizing what the best moments in life showed you, in a real way — or becoming the match (no pun intended) for new and surprising delight.

 

JOY OF LIFE is a private podcast on these energetics, weaving in Saturn and Neptune in Aries, and the astrology of fire - including 3 live calls. It is open to everyone regardless of gender (not just for women, as some of my offerings have been lately). 

 

JOY OF LIFE is happening Nov 4-8 with daily 15-30 min audios and 3 live calls with practices or natal chart work. It’s $22 right now but the price doubles every three days until we start, so you know what to do 🔥

 

JOY OF LIFE is for you if:

• you genuinely want to invite more of the erotic into your life and want supportive ideas or supportive ways of thinking about it by sharing time with an erotic philosopher (me, your host)
• you want to wake up a greater degree of leadership in creating your life - not waiting for your life to happen - but turning something on inside of you that sparks adventure, and you’re ready for a way of thinking that potentiates that
• you want to understand the energetics of why there is so much angst about the sweetest things in life & how this essential tension can be more of an adventure than it currently is
• you crave to feel close, alive contact with life in a deep way
• you want to be inspired into ways to give yourself deeper permission to live in your essence instead of hiding it — so that you can enjoy yourself and go deeper in love

 

JOY OF LIFE is not for you if:

• If you are currently in a high state of dis-regulation or active trauma (and without a sufficient support network or tools), this space is not an appropriate match.

 

 

This is a taste of the work I share — because naturally we go a lot deeper in longer term containers. Part of sustaining fire is that you do have to tend it.

 

For those of you called to commit to this force in your life deeper, develop a personal practice, and want attuned support, learn more about ORACLE BODY, my 1:1 coaching. And stay tuned for special offers for those who come to the private podcast.

 

& we’ll be working with this theme in EROS ANIMA as well this month but more specifically dialed-in for women, since EROS ANIMA is an erotic embodiment practice space for women. My private podcasts events are included in EROS ANIMA so if you’ve been wanting to join, step through the door here.

 

 

The Experience Includes:

 

– Private teachings on eros from the perspective of fire and Aries/Leo especially. Drawing on current transits of Saturn and Neptune in Aries and Jupiter in Leo.

– 15-30 minutes of daily audio drops November 4-8.

– Three live calls with practices or natal chart work

– Private telegram channel to share your digestion of the practices we do

– The private audio drops and calls will be available for replay for 30 days after November 8.

 

 

Step inside

Price is $22 and it will double every three days until we begin November 4 and the doors close. So trust your instinct and join.